


You're Not Alone

by brokenhighways



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-09
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-25 21:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/275085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared runs a small stationery shop on some side street in Burbank, LA. He leads a quiet life but is unable to leave his apartment or store due to an accident he had. What happens when a hot guy keeps coming back to his store everyday to buy a notebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Not Alone

Jared's not really sure why he's running a small stationery shop on some side street in Burbank, LA. He went to college, he got his degree. He even managed to find a job at a respectable company even despite the fact that the job market was very competitive these days. Jared loved that job. Sure, it was demanding but the feeling that all the hard work he'd done had finally paid off made it all worth it. He felt as though he was on top of the world. But then the accident happened. It was about a year after he got the job. He'd been sent on an errant by his tyrant of a boss, stepped out into the street without looking to see where he was going and BAM.

 

He'd woken up in a hospital bed with a broken arm and his legs in traction. The doctors had said that he was lucky to be alivebut it was all a blur to him. His accident had knocked himout for a good two days and he spent a good portion of the next months just lying there, pretending to be okay when really he was just freaking out. He lost his job somewhere in the midst of all. Temporary leave, they said. He knew that it was all a lie.

 

One thing lead to another and when his neighbour Mr Beaver got sick, his mother suggested that he help him look after the shop and Jared had reluctantly agreed. It was safe at least. He didn't have to leave the building; he rented the apartment above the store. Of course his family realised eventually. _Agoraphobia._ That's what they said. To Jared it was just a name. What did it mean? He had a bad experience and didn't feel like being around others. It didn’t make him ill. But he'd just been fooling himself.

 

He's better now, he thinks. Jared wants to go out, leave his shell. But he's scared of getting hurt. Plus, most of his friends abandoned him a few months after the accident. They all got fed up with him cancelling on them and not coming over to them and well, he realised that they were probably never his friends in the first place.

 

His best and only friends in the world - Chad and Katie - work with him in the store so he doesn't need to go out and see them. Truthfully, he's happy where he is but Jared just wishes he could be normal. So he sets himself a goal. He's going to find something out there that is worth him seeing with his own eyes. He tells Katie and Chad and Chad instantly declares that he should go to a NASCAR race. Jared's stomach plummets as Katie glare at Chad and says,

"Chad, what have I told you about speaking?" and Chad has the decency to look a little guilty. Jared can't help feeling bad. Katie turns to him and then with a too bright smile of her face she says,

"We need to find you a boyfriend!” Jared is about to protest but the quiet bell that signifies a customer entering the store rings and he steps up to the counter and looks up. And that's when he sees him.

 

~*~

 

Jared groans when Katie saunters into the shop with a mischievous smile on her face. She's holding a bag from some designer store in town and Jared really hopes that she hasn't been shopping for him again. She seems to think that he has no style at all, and that's just not true. He has style. But Katie has been going on about him dressing up in case the man, he may or may not have subtlety checked out when he came into the store yesterday, comes back. Jared's explained to her that the chances are slim. Chad gave his unhelpful two cents as well declaring that for Jared to get any action he’d have to actually _leave_ his apartment and Jared’s just glad that Chad doesn’t baby him. Because he’s right. But it doesn’t mean he’s going to throw himself on the first hot guy that walks into the store. Even if Katie claims that the guy walking in when he did was _fate_. Jared doesn’t believe in that crap, especially not after his accident. How can something so painful be _fate?_

 

“Stop freaking out over this!” Katie says as she dumps the bags on the counter.

“I’m not freaking out,” Jared says with a pout, “Because you’re going to take these back and nothing’s going to happen between me and the hot guy”. Surprisingly she just shrugs and doesn’t answer and Jared watches as she shoves the bags in the back and disappears. He thinks about calling out that she’s supposed to be working but it’s not like they have any customers. Chad set up a website for them a while back and now they mostly deal with bulk orders from large companies so business is still going good enough for them to stay open which is all Jared can hope for.

 

It does get a little tedious though, staying in the store all day waiting for the slow trickle of customers to come in. There’s a coffee store across the street that Jared really wishes he could go to but he just can’t. He sits down on the chair behind the counter instead and loads up an episode of Fringe on his iPad. It all feels so monotonous and boring but that’s just the way his life is. He’s a socially stunted freak. Jared sighs as the voices of the characters filter into his ears as he looks up at the coffee shop again. It’s _just_ across the street. Right there. Before he knows what he’s doing he’s by the door of his shop and his hand is on the handle when he hears the loud screeching sound of brakes being slammed and he jumps back. His breathing starts to become even and he backs away as fast as he can.

 

He turns around just in time to see Katie watching him with a sad look on her face.

 

~*~

 

Later on that day, around 5pm the bell that signifies someone entering the store rings and Jared looks up blearily from where he’s still perched behind the counter. Technically it’s Chad’s shift but Jared doesn’t mind staying down here until closing time. He figures that it’s one step away from the outside world, so to speak. Watching people go past and interacting with customers. Or well, _this_ customer. It’s the guy from yesterday and Jared tries not to do anything stupid. The man is dressed in a dark, close fitting suit, pale blue shirt with a non-descript black tie. His short, light, brown hair is styled in short little spikes and Jared has to admit that he’s _really_ good looking. He watches as the guy goes over the notebook section and picks one up and gives it a good once over. He glances over to where Jared is and Jared quickly starts to rearrange the random papers in front of him. People in the store sometimes feel uncomfortable when someone is watching them so he usually doesn’t do it too closely but Jared’s kind of captivated by this guy. It’s a weird feeling and it kind of leaves an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Well at least he’ll have some to say to his psychologist when she come over the next day. Not that he’s looking forward to it. She says that he’s getting better that he doesn’t need the anti-depressants anymore and he _agrees_ with her but he still can’t leave his damn store or apartment and it just bothers him to no end.

 

If he wants it so badly, why can’t he act on it? Why is he so terrified? It’s a question he’s asked many times and one that no one really has an answer for.

 

“Uh, sorry” Jared blinks as he realises that the guy is standing right in front of him with a leather bound planner in his hand and _wow_. His eyes are this really vibrant shade of green. They’re like an array of different hues of green and hazel and Jared coughs and tries to focus on not mentally undressing the guy before he embarrasses himself spectacularly.

 

“How can I help you?” he says politely and the man smiles at him. The swooping feeling of _something_ runs through Jared again and he can’t help feeling a little exhilarated by it.

 

“I’m just buying this,” the man says as he places the book down on the counter, “Nice store by the way”. Jared smiles at him as he scans the book and places it in a bag. He calls out the price and accepts the 20 dollar bill the man gives him and presses the button that opens the till. He counts out the change and waits for the receipt to finish printing. The man doesn’t pick up the bag so Jared slots the receipt into it and hands it over to him. He feels a sizzle of electricity run through him as their hands brush and he yanks his hand back as quickly as he can without coming across as rude.

 

“Nice shirt,” the man says and Jared looks down at his chest and blushes when he sees that he’s wearing his old _Superman_ shirt. He makes a mental note to go through the stuff that Katie picked out for him as soon as the hot guy leaves, “See you later, _Jared_ ”.

 

And just like that he’s gone.

 

“He knows my name,” Jared says dreamily, “How?”

“You’re wearing a name tag” Jared jumps as Katie replies him with a smug smile on her face and Jared feels his face flushing once again.

 

~*~

The next day is a Saturday and Jared always closes the store at 12pm so that he, Katie and Chad can have lunch together. It’s the one social thing he does all week so he doesn’t mind closing the store early. It’s around 11.30 when the bell rings and Jared looks up from where he’d been inhaling his coffee to see that the _hot guy_ has just entered his store. He waves at Jared who just stares at him dumbfoundedly. This isn’t normal right? Why would this guy come into the store _three_ days in a row. Before Jared can really begin to ponder, the guy approaches the counter with his items. He’s got another notebook and a mini-stapler and Jared just frowns. How does this guy need _another_ notebook already?

 

“Hi, Jared” he says with a dazzling smile and before Jared knows what’s happening he’s smiling back. A full on dimpled grin. Their eyes catch and they share a long intense look and Jared is feeling things that he hasn’t felt in a long time. The spell is broken when the bell rings and Chad saunters into the store. He stops when he sees Jensen and he raises an eyebrow which morphs into waggling eyebrows and a thumbs up. Chad exits the store as quickly as he came in and Jared sighs as he scans in the items, “It’s Jensen, by the way”. Jared nods slightly as he bags up the items. He charges Jensen for them and smiles as he hands the bag and change over.

 

“Have a nice day, Jensen” he adds when Jensen looks at him, he sees that Jensen is wearing a _Batman: Under The Red Hood_ t-shirts and he laughs and says, “Nice shirt, I liked the movie”. One thing leads to another and suddenly they’re having an in depth discussion about it. It’s only when Chad, with Katie in tow, re-emerges that Jared realises that he and Jensen have been talking for half an hour.

 

“Sorry, man,” he says with an apologetic smile, “I’m closing up now”. Jensen actually looks _disappointed_ and Jared finds that he really wants to ask him to join them but he can’t. He just _can’t_. So he says his goodbye’s and locks the door once Jensen leaves. Chad’s gone up to his apartment but Katie hangs back with a smirk on her face.

 

“Is that one of the new shirts I got for you?” she asks and Jared blushes.

 

“Shut up.” ~~.~~

 

~*~

 

“I want to go outside” Jared blurts out as Chad watches the game on TV. It’s way past lunch and they’re just relaxing on Jared’s couch and he decides that he wants to try again. He’s been thinking about it more and more and his psychologist told him that if he wanted it enough then he could do it and Jared thinks that he’s ready. He’s so _sure_ of it. Chad doesn’t even say anything he just gets up and makes his way over to the door. Jared takes a deep breath and follows suit. He knows that he won’t be able to go far but, just _one step_ would be progress. Chad’s a little ahead of him and Jared pauses and takes a few deep breaths of air before he makes his way down the stairs that lead to his front door. It’s right next to the door of the store but he never really uses it. Jared’s hoping that will all change though. He knows it won’t happen over ~~ir~~ night but, it’ll be _progress_.

 

The doors already ajar when he gets there and he can see Chad leaning on the wall outside. He ignores the way his heart is thumping in his chest. _Come on Jared, you can do this_ he tells himself as he places a hand on the door and pushes it open. The rush of breeze that hits his face immediately cause him to rear back but he grips the door tight ly and propels himself forward. Suddenly the sound of traffic and distant chatter of people on the streets filters into his ears and Jared can’t help the tears that spring out of his eyes. He catches sight of Chad smiling at him proudly and he widens his eyes in surprise. He’s actually outside of his apartment. _outside!_ If he wasn’t freaking the fuck out right now he’d do a dorky victory dance but instead he takes in another huge breath and says,

 

“Wanna get coffee?” as he motions to the store across the road and Chad frowns.

“Jay, are you sure?” Jared wants to laugh at the question. Is he that much of a freak that he can’t even decide to go and buy a cup of coffee like a fucking _normal person_? Before Chad can say anything Jared turns and runs back up the stairs, slamming the door behind him.

 

~*~

 

Obviously Chad tells Katie about the whole debacle because she spends the whole of the next Monday afternoon grilling him about it. Jared tries not to be mad at her because she’s one of the two people that he has to talk to and he doesn’t want to screw that up as well.

 

“I don’t understand Jared, I mean Chad’s been beating himself up over asking you if you were sure, don’t you think you should call him and let him know that it wasn’t his fault?” she ~~;~~ ’s saying when the bell goes off as the door swings open. It’s him, it’s _Jensen_ and Jared mentally begs her to just shut up. But she doesn’t. Jared can tell that she’s really upset so he just listens to her while he surveys Jensen nervously. Briefly, he wonder ~~’~~ s why Jensen is suddenly here every single day but he’s thrown out of his thoughts by Katie punching him on his shoulder.

 

“You’re not even listening!” she cries, and _shit_ when did she start _crying_. The door swings open again just as Jensen starts to approach the desk and suddenly Jared can’t breathe. His chest is constricting as he struggles to calm down and before he knows what he’s doing he runs out of the store.

 

~*~

 

“If I’d known that my X-Men shirt would have that affect on you, I wouldn’t have worn it”. Jared doesn’t look up but he recognises Jensen’s voice and he smiles slightly. His face is dry but tear-stained and he knows that his eyes will probably be puffy and red, so he doesn’t really want to be seen like this. The wind is blowing around him gently and if it wasn’t such a foreign feeling to him after so long, Jared thinks that he’d enjoy it. He’d enjoy the sounds of the birds chirping as they roam about freely in the sky. The rustle of the leaves as they were brushed aside on the sidewalk was soothing and Jared’s panic attack had resided eventually. He couldn’t quite deny that feeling of wanting to get back to his apartment so he could hide from the world but...there was something liberating about being out here in the open. He hadn’t gone far, just two streets over to where there was a small park. On his good days, Jared would think about getting a couple of dogs, and bringing them here from time to time.

 

“How did you find me?” he asked when he realised that Jensen was still standing next to the bench he was sitting on.

 

“Oh, uh your friend Katie said that you wouldn’t have gone far”.

“Did she tell you about...” Jared’s voice trailed off before he thought about what had been drilled into him from day one. He had a problem, he’d accepted that. If he couldn’t talk about it, how was he supposed to face up to it.

 

“Uh, yeah, I mean she was upset that she’d upset you and it kind of came tumbling out” Jensen explains and Jared nods softly. A dog barks somewhere in the distance and Jared jumps a little. Before he can panic Jensen places a comforting hand on his shoulder and Jared feels the warmth seep through from Jensen’s hand to his shirt, “I had an accident once, or well I got mugged, they roughed me up and stole my wallet and my cell but I was mostly okay, just a few cuts and bruises but man, it scared the crap out of me. I didn’t leave my apartment for like three weeks”.

 

“That sounds awful,” Jared replies, “What happened after three weeks?”

“Well, my boss threatened to fire me!” Jensen says with a grin and even though it hits a nerve, Jared can’t help succumbing to Jensen’s infectious grin and he smiles back, “No, seriously I just thought I had two choices, I could either stay in my own little shell and do more damage to my confidence and mental state of I could get on with my life and not give those thugs any power over me”.

 

“Not that I’m belittling your situation or anything” Jensen added quickly, “I’m here to listen if you want to talk”. Surprisingly Jared takes him up on the offer; it’s nice to have someone _new_ to talk to. He loves Katie and Chad but some days he feels like he’s an unnecessary burden on them, and he feels as though he has to get better for _them_.

 

“You have to want to get better for yourself ~~,~~ Jared , and that’s all your friends want for you too”.

 

~*~

 

Jared isn’t really expecting to see Jensen again so soon. But he turns up the next day and picks something to buy - _another notebook_ \- and comes up to the counter. Jared can’t help the laugh the tumbles out of his mouth.

 

“Seriously?” he says incredulously and Jensen gives him and innocent look as if to say, _I don’t know what you’re talking about._ “You don’t need to keep on buying notebooks you don’t need just to see me”.

 

“I don’t?” it’s a light hearted question but Jared can feel the weight of the words and he realises that Jensen won’t be _that guy_ anymore if Jared poses friendship and he finds that he doesn’t really mind. Besides, he could do with a new friend.

~*~

 

He decides to try again, on his own because Jensen was right, he has to do this for himself first and foremost. It’s around 9pm and the store’s been closed for a few hours. Chad’s gone park to his apartment and Katie is having dinner with her parents and they both think that he’s having a Star Wars marathon on his couch but the truth is that he didn’t even remove the DVDs from the shelf. He shrugs on his jacket as he locks the door behind him. By the time he reaches the front door he;s starting to feel a little shaky but he just remembers the breath exercises that he’s learnt and he tries to steady his breathing. Before he can chicken out, he opens the door and darts out as quickly as possible, slamming it shut behind him. He leans on the door and breathes in and out slowly as he tries not to have a panic attack. After a few minutes he starts to walk down slowly towards the pedestrian crossing. Sure he could dart across the road between the incoming traffic but considering how he ended up this way, it’s probably not a good idea. Okay, it _definitely_ isn’t a good idea.

When the light flashes green, he hurries across the street as possible with his hands shoved deep into his pockets but his head up and alert as he looks both right and left several time. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and boy didn’t he learn that the hard way. It’s hard to think that the coffee shop has become something so _monumental_ but it has. It’s a symbol of everything Jared’s been struggling with since his accident. As he opens the door he thinks that maybe he’s opening up a new chapter of his life.

 

This time, he’s more than ready for it. He smiles as he goes over to the main counter and places his order. The barista who serves him happens to be the owner and she recognises him, she doesn’t say anything, she just smiles back at him.

 

~*~

 

 

 

It’s been almost a week since Jared’s meltdown and he finds himself out of his comfort zone again. He’s shopping for groceries are the local store for the first time since he’s moved in here. Jensen’s outside in his car waiting for Jared to finish up and whenever Jared feels those first few waves of panic, he focuses on Jensen. He’s still not sure about their relationship, they’re friends, that much he knows. But he’s not sure if that _spark_ they have or well _had_ is gone or still there. This is the fourth time he’s been out with Jensen since the park ordeal. They’d been to the coffee shop across the street twice, and the park once. Jared can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like if he’d attempted to do this by himself because he still gets a little overwhelmed at time, he still tenses up when he hears a car braking. Oddly enough, being in Jensen’s car doesn’t cause him to freak out. But Jared’s starting to realise that Jensen is pretty much his rock. He keeps Jared steady, with either a steady hand on his shoulder or sometimes even just a simple look.

 

_Jensen gets him._

 

He knows that Jared still has issues and that they wouldn’t go away overnight and he respects that. Maybe it’s because Jared hasn’t known him for long or hell, doesn’t really know him at all but he feels less pressure to be _normal_ when he’s around him. With Katie and Chad he’s been harboring some serious guilt that he’s neglected to tell either of them about because they’ve been so good to him. Too good to him. Jared shakes his head out of his thoughts as he heads over to the confectionery section of the store. He grins to himself as he spots the gummy bears and he grabs a few bags and dumps them into his basket and he heads over to the checkout tills. There’s a sense of hope in the air and Jared swears that he’s not going to let go of it this time.

 

He’s still smiling as he passes through the automatic doors at the exit but it falls when he sees Chad’s car where Jensen’s was. Damn. He still hasn’t spoken to Chad since that day and he doesn’t know why. Or, well he does. He hates confrontations and he doesn’t want to see his best friend as upset as Katie was. _Then, you might as well just talk to him_ , the helpful voice in his head says and Jared sighs as he makes his way over to the car. He opens the back door and tosses his bag onto to the back seat and then gets into the passenger seat. He doesn’t feel the same sense of calm that he does when he gets into Jensen’s car but he feels safe. Chad would never hurt him intentionally so Jared doesn’t have any real reason to worry. He’s not going to let his accident drag him down any longer.

 

“You okay?” Chad asks gruffly and Jared nods.

 

“I’m sorry-” They both say in unison before they stop, look at each other and burst into laughter. It lasts for a while before both of them just trail off and Jared sobers up and says,

 

“I don’t blame you for last week, or for anything. You and Katie had been so good to me, I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you”.

 

“You’ve come a long way, Jared. Even before Jensen and you venturing outside, you’ve been getting better and...I don’t know, I feel like me and Katie did not clue you into that enough, we either tried to push you too hard or we weren’t pushing at all. But...I’m proud of you, bro”. There’s a long silence as both of them processed what the other had just said. Chad opened his mouth to speak after a while but Jared raised his hand up to stop him,

 

“Dude, don’t cheapen the moment”. Chad just glared at him as he started the car and pulled out of the car park.

 

“You’re such a _girl,_ Padalecki”.

 

 ****  
a month later  


 

Jensen’s up in his apartment, lounging around on the couch when Jared finally asks him a question that’s been bugging him. He’s still not used to be outside for long periods of time so he and Jensen mostly hang out together in his apartment, watching DVDs and games on Jared’s top of the range TV that had caused Jensen to say “No wonder you never leave this place” when he first saw it. Katie and Chad had both been there at the time and there had been an uncomfortable silence until Jared had dissolved into peals of laughter. Soon they’d all been laughing and Jared had found himself thanking whoever had brought Jensen into his life because he’d slot right into Jared’s support group of Chad and Katie and while he didn’t appreciate it when the three of them joined forces against him, he recognised that they’d needed _something_ to hold them all together and Jensen was like the glue that made their bonds even stronger. Or, well the slightly less cheesier version of that.

 

“So you never told me what you did with all of those notebooks...?” he asks and Jensen just laughs.

 

“Well I figured that, it’d save me a lot on anniversary presents for you so I kept them”.

 

“Anniversary?”

 

“Yup, we’re all just waiting for you to man up and ask me out already,” Jensen teases and Jared blushes deeply as he looks down at the floor and mumbles,

 

“What would you say if I asked you now?”

 

“I’d say yes” Jensen replies without a moment of hesitation, “No pressure though”.

 

“Well then I declare this our first date, and consequently movie night!” Jensen groans. It’s Jared’s turn to pick the film and Jensen already knows what he’ll pick.

“Please tell me it’s not _Superman Returns_?” he says glumly and Jared just grins. He hates the movie as well but Jensen’s half an hour rants about how much it sucked are always amusing to listen to.

 

“Thank you,” he says softly as he gets up and curls up next to Jensen on the couch. Jensen lifted his arm up and Jared moved up and tucked himself under it.

 

“For what?” Jensen asked as he watched the opening credits of the movie.

 

“For showing me the light when all I could see was darkness” Jared replies and Jensen leans over and presses a chaste kiss on his lips before leaning back with a small smile on his face.

 

“Seriously?” Chad pops his head into the doorway and Jared sighs, “ _‘For showing me the light when all I could see was darkness’?_ You’re such a _girl_!”.

 

**fin.**


End file.
